I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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