Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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