so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
