The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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