I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize