One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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