the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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