Pappa wants mamma naked
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
