It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
