the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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