TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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