Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
