I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
