This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
