i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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