I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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