i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
