So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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