worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
