Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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