WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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