Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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