Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
