carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
