id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
