my mouth tastes like poor choices
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
