return my video game
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
MIDGETS
????
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize