and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
