Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
