Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
