Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
