Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
