sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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