they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize