she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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