I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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