There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
