is your mom at the bar?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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