I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
if i died would you start the facebook group?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
