and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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