Do vagina's smell?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
