I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize