Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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