i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize