today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
