was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize