If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
my poor anus
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
