oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
