but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
