taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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