I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
