Non-Jews are for practice
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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