Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
