I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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