I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
