I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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