he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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