Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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