my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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