The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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