if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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