I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize