In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
bring money and cleavage
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
