Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
