where am i from again
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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