dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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