Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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