Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
