yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
